When it's all said and done... how far will I take my fantsy and how far will it take me?
I've been in a position of too deep before, I'm careful.. very careful to not let myself sink so deep now a days. I wonder, does that hold me back from the things I want to experience? Personally, holding back seems like the responsible thing.. cause really.... yeah.
Do I rely on this fantasy so that I don't inevitably have to face my fears in reality or the profound loss I feel from not getting a few aspects of it in my real daily life?
I'm frustrated.. the one in reality, he doesn't see what I want or need. Hell he doesn't even see me, just what he wants to see. Then... there is the fantasy.... as fantasy's go.. he's perfect. Hell as reality goes he's pretty wonderful too.... and he let's me have that scrap of wall that I need, that piece of something so that I hold back from feeling 'all fantasy' and insteadk carry with me a secret piece of fantasy so that life with Mr. Reality and me pretending to be vanilla; is bearable.
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